“Love passionately, forgive whole-heartedly, work relentlessly, care compassionately, risk bravely and most importantly, live honourably” – S x
Let’s Cut The Crap first started off as my personal journal made up of short “articles” during my first break-up. These articles expressed my feelings and thoughts in a light-hearted and creative way allowing me to relieve stress and let go of resentment.
I first decided to make my journal a blog for the world to see when I came across so many others out there doing a similar thing. I had a lot of material collecting dust and I guess I felt that what I had to say could maybe help other people in similar situations to me, get through life a little easier.
I have always had a family around me who loves me which is more than some could say but sometimes, the love of a family can’t stop bad from happening much as you try to protect your kids (and God don’t I now know it!).
Regardless, I was a bit of a rebel in my young teenage years and I wore my heart on my sleeve. I got myself into some troubles and I hooked up with some of the worst men and as a result, I grew up too fast.
There are things I have done in my life I am not proud of and there are things that have happened that I still can’t seem to justify into words. There have been times I have felt like giving up on life completely and there have been times I’ve felt incredibly ashamed for even contemplating it.
Depression was such a taboo subject in my family – at the time, there was much stigma attached to the condition and my parents were quite narrow-minded when it came to understanding how complex it was (albeit, they are so much more understanding today).
When I first began showing signs of depression my parents took that as a direct insult in how they brought me up – it then became all about them, rather than an indication that something wasn’t quite right in my life and that needed to be resolved sooner rather than later. I was 15 years old.
I was always very conflicted when thinking of why I was depressed which would make me feel worse (was I not appreciative of how good my life actually was? for example). I guess in a lot of ways I was too afraid to seek understanding out of loyalty to my parents and fear of hurting them, so I let it be for another 3 years until a certain person in my life unleashed it ten fold (a story for a different day).
Since those days, I’ve came really far in my journey – I am now a mother myself, I have another on the way (due January 2018) and I am married to a man who somehow managed to stabilise my illness in a way no medication ever did. I have two Tibetan Mastiff’s (King Louis and Nala) and a little Miniature Dachshund (Jessica). We have a nice home (dismissing the fact we are directly across from my in-laws – yikes!) and we are financially secure with our own businesses.
Life is good. But like anything else, the good times can lead into bad and we are faced with tests… this is what Let’s Cut The Crap is all about.
Let’s Cut The Crap has grown into a no-nonsense observation of life – all existing around my life journey and all true to my heart and personal.
My life has always been an open book – I hope this blog helps others to find peace in the ever-changing waves of life