- It isn’t any less frightening than the first – just because we’ve been through labour once before doesn’t mean we are a lot less petrified of the idea of going through it again. Let’s face it, labour was not fun the first time round – it was very, very painful not to mention completely undignified. And all this “you forget the ordeal as soon as you hold your baby for the first time” nonsense, is just that – nonsense!
I remember every part of labour from the contractions, to the pushing, to the deciding I wasn’t pushing anymore, to the having to push again, to the stitching up at the end. It wasn’t nice and I’ll admit for a brief while I resented my baby quite a lot for the entire thing much as I loved him too.
- You still don’t know what to expect – some would assume that if you’ve been through it once you’re completely prepared for it a second time. Not the case. Each of my pregnancies have been different. It varies each and every time and you can never predict what’s around the corner but one thing I have came to expect is the unexpected. I mean, who would have thought that skin tags would be a common symptom of pregnancy, talk about disgusting!
- You don’t save as much money as you think you will – after you’ve had your first little monster you get wise to all the ways you can save money. We have it all planned: keeping all neutral coloured clothing for hand-me-downs and hoarding baby toys that will save us expensive trips to Toys ‘R’ Us. But unless you have a massive house with ample storage, you’re going to sell on most of the baby items that are hindering your much needed space – bottles, bottle warmers, baby seats, prams etc., to make room for other necessities as your toddler grows.
Then there is the invention of other ingenious baby things – my sister bought herself a milk maker that actually mixes formula to the exact temperature required in minutes (amazing!).
Lastly you have legislation which is constantly changing – the most recent one being car seats! It’s a joke – parents don’t have it easy and no matter how much you try to save money, you are going to have to dip deep into your pockets whether you like it or not.
- Your husband still hasn’t a clue – there is a part of you the second time round that feels confident that if anything, your hubby is going to be on the ball this time. That he knows how tiring it is for you and that housework is the last thing you need to be doing when you’re carrying extra weight and feeling the pressure on your lower back.
Doesn’t happen – wishful thinking ladies!
Men actually go the opposite way and think that we’ve done it before, so it’s like a second nature to us now – a nice thought but a stupid one!
We need the extra help around the house, we need the extra patience when our hormones get the better of us, we need time to relax without the toddler prodding you with his foam sword and asking you a million questions and it would be nice to come home to a bath and glass of non-alcoholic prosecco after a busy day, just because.
But if you want these things, you’ll have to moan for them and after all that energy has been consumed, you will be too fed up to even care.