Romantiphobe – the term I give to those who are afraid of allowing themselves to express their true feelings to those most closest to them. 

Long gone are the Shakespearean ways of poetry and music, no more are we proud to convey our bohemian spirits as it becomes less and less of a thing worth fighting for – love, and all its dramas!

The lessening value of monogamy isn’t slowing down for anything just yet and I believe that the reason behind this is our inability (or lack of dedication) to show and tell the person we love just how much we love them every day.

Do you smile when someone says something nice about you?

Do you feel good about yourself when the person you love tells you why they love and appreciate you?

When did love become something that just exists in the background of living?

There was a video that went viral on social media the other week that showed a number of people’s reaction’s to being told they were beautiful. It was an example of how powerful kindness is in regards to a persons’ feelings, check it out:

Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to make an effort in a relationship and many of us co-exist just for the sake of convenience, we spend our lives like ships in the night and expect nothing from our other halves until the day one of us, has the guts to pull the plug…

I’ve been there – lust has gone, life gets in the way and experience happens, suddenly one of you begins to stop caring as much and eventually, you don’t have that spark between you. For the sake of hurt feelings, you continue co-existing and possibly cheating until one day, even that isn’t enough.

Yet how this can carry on (sometimes months and years) bewilders me – how can two people live such a monotone life without really talking to one another on how they truly feel?

In my own experience, I had fell in love with a guy who really swept me off my feet, I fell hard (he didn’t catch me) and after seven days of not talking, not kissing, not loving, I finally confronted him. Lost, afraid and desperate, I begged for the truth behind his coldness and the response I got, will remain one of the hardest (yet crucial to my self-healing) statements of my life: “my feelings have changed – I don’t love you anymore“.

Sure it probably was stating the obvious, but a lot of us hang on for that miracle that maybe things will get better:

Don’t waste your time trying to force a person to be more loving or “romantic”. If you aren’t motivation enough to let down barriers for, then you aren’t the one for him/her and you can do better! Love only works when it gives just as much as it receives.

Vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say “this is me, and I love you enough to show my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not” – Ashton Kutcher. 


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