So many people have asked me the BIG question: how do I know if he/she’s the right one or not? I guess it’s frustrating when my response is:
You’ll just wake up one day and realise you’re still there and you’re still happy.
Sometimes having that faith in yourself is not enough, you often worry that you’re a bad judge of character or that you’re “cursed” in relationships (which we’ve already distinguished is not the case at all).
I have found that the status of the majority of relationships are determined around the 6 months mark – either, the relationship has been and went long before reaching that mini-milestone, you’re hanging on by the skin of your teeth or you’re still enjoying shagging every opportunity you get and have even made time to talk, eat and actually sleep together…
Here are my personal indicators, in no particular order, that I have kept floating around my consciousness throughout my dating years:
6 months has arrived and I am still the loved-up arsehole, I used to hate seeing on the street
Patience and tolerance are suddenly my strong points and I have suddenly found farting in public hysterical!
Public affection is absolutely O.K – no really, it is! I hold hands in public, I share MY dessert at my favourite Ice-Cream Parlour (where I had spent many a lonely night after work, drowning my sorrows).
I am less serious about myself – I walk around the house with my arse hanging out my PJs, my waxing cream is on display showing that women actually can grow beards and the bed-hair look suddenly becomes attractive.
Compromise became a way of life. Changing and adapting my lifestyle came naturally and effortlessly. I hardly recall the day I became less selfish in my every-day decisions. I would never have offered someone the last dash of milk for a cup of tea (even if I had already had a cup, and they hadn’t), but I do now…
The thing about knowing if you are with the person who is right for you (aka. the One) is that everything in life seems to have a reasonable justification to it.
It may not be easy, it can annoy you like mad but despite the challenges, the thought to finish things doesn’t pass your mind. Or it does (to try and make him shit his pants a little while), but it’s not something you are seriously considering.
I watched Bridget Jones’ Baby the other night (a must see!), and one of the phrases in it really explained this topic perfectly…
In response to Mr. Should-Be-Right (that guy who seems to have everything in common with you, who is probably as close to perfect you can get) asks, “Do you love him?” (Mr. Right-For-Me, the guy who has came and went God knows how many times for God knows how many reasons, but none of them being anything do to with not loving each other) or, “Do you love me?”.
Bridget says, “I used to love him. I might love you…one day. The thing about love is, sometimes you love a person for all the differences between you both. Sometimes you love a person, because they feel like home“.
Pretty Face xo