I took a sex and relationship course a few years back by one of UK’s leading “sexperts”, Kate Taylor. Throughout this course I learnt a lot about myself as a person, myself as a person to date and myself as a person to love.
One of the things I always remember reading was “believe in fresh starts” because it was a principle I eventually realised to be so crucial in attracting the right attention throughout my journey in dating.
I’ve spoken to a lot of people lately who have got in touch to talk about how they often look back on past relationships asking themselves the following questions; what if things had been different?, what if I had stayed with that person? etc. All of which are preventing them from really living in the present moment!
The bottom line is, you are not in that relationship today for one main reason amongst many different reasons:
It was simply not meant to be.
Whether it was because together you both became different people, whether one of you were unfaithful, whether there was little trust and honesty or whether you both just drifted apart – whatever the case may be, relationships end because they just. aren’t. working.
Though it is always good to learn from past experiences (and I say experiences rather than mistakes because nothing in life should be considered a “mistake”), it is unhealthy to allow your opinions of people today, to be influenced by a certain person from your past.
Just because you dated a psycho before, doesn’t mean you are a bad judge of character – most psychopaths are extremely clever in how they portray themselves.
Kate Taylor said, “bad relationships of the past don’t curse you for the future” and that’s something you must always remember when dating, optimism is key to finding the right person.
If we allow ourselves to always look back, if we truly allow ourselves to believe that going back to something we think we can predict (an ex for example) is a far better alternative to finding something new and unfamiliar – we destroy all chances of finding the person that is right for us.