I cannot count the amount of articles I have read that claim to have the cheating signs down to perfection…. “The 5 tell tale signs that your man is thinking of cheating“…
Let’s be totally honest about things – who hasn’t thought of what it would be like if you were to go out with someone else after a big fight?
Who can honestly say, they have never been attracted to more than one person at some point in their lives? I fancy my husband and Chris Hempsworth… I even think I’m falling for the latest Wonder woman!
Yet, I would still say I am a happily married women happy to admit that I still find the occasional man that walks past, attractive and I know for a fact my husband, has the daily habit of eyeing up every girl he drives past and subconsciously makes a comment in his head of whether she’s “dot cotton” (rotten) or not – it’s life!
The question is, does this mean we are all guilty of thinking about physically cheating on our partner?
No, of course it doesn’t! For most of us anyway.
A cheater is someone who secretly and actively has more than one person in their lives at the same time, in an intimate capacity.
And look, I get it! I’ve been the paranoid freak (because that’s what you are) before – constantly asking my partner if things were good, looking through his phone, bringing up every minor detail.
It isn’t healthy, it’s exhausting and if anything, it builds resentment between the pair of you and actually encourages a lot of affairs to happen, that before then, did not and probably would never have existed.
The reality is, people will always think about the “what if’s” in their heads – they will, at times, fantasise about other people and deny it when asked but that doesn’t mean they don’t love and want to be with you…
I live my life with this principle in mind:
When the thought of my husband is no longer as desirable as someone else I’ve met, I know it’s time to move on.
The best we can hope to do, is commit our lives to making each other happy and allow ourselves to be loved without doubt for as long as we are destined to.
REAL STORY: “I recently had an affair. I hadn’t been feeling into my marriage and things just happened. As it came to an end, I suddenly developed a deeper appreciation for my wife and things have never been better. I don’t know how, but it has saved my marriage. I don’t feel I need to tell her what’s changed because I don’t want to lose her, but maybe having affairs isn’t all that bad?”
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
This gentleman went behind his wife’s back and had a taste of what another woman felt like. He wanted the best of both worlds and as a result, felt much more satisfied in the end. As a result, he feels energised and ready to take on his marriage (i.e. “save it”) which is fine IF his wife was allowed her right to agree or disagree.
Some relationships work based on having “hall passes” but in this situation, honesty to the wife should be his number one priority.
Communication is key – I have never been with a person I didn’t first and foremost, respect. I have always been an open book in my relationship so that my husband always knows where he stands.