So we are all familiar with what “meaningless fun” is meant to be, but does it actually exist?
I think it’s less naïve to say that in most MF situations, someone will always get hurt.
I break the unwritten law of silence and admit that I have played a part in my own “meaningless fun” scandal – I’m not proud of it but it was what it was and I’ve learnt from it.
Whether it’s a one-night stand, a series of sexual encounters with your boss or married man or secret meetings with your ex, the majority of us will find ourselves in a less than dignified sexual scandal at one stage (probably more) in our lives.
Though it may be a rollercoaster of passion and delight at the time, it comes down to dignity, self-love and self-respect. Do you have that for yourself?
The first step forward is taking a step in the right direction – that is, opposite wherever the other person is or is going to be! Realise that you are doing something that will or already is, hurting someone and simply walk away.
As tempting as it may be (and trust me, I do know just how tempting it is), there are times in life we are far better off wondering “what if?”.
I have been the victim of, what I call, a “sEXuation” – the term I use to define being reduced to a booty call by the man I once loved and who clearly never loved me.
I went along with it because:
- he suddenly had an interest in me again and suddenly there was hope
- he was acting the way he did when we first met and things felt special again
- I convinced myself that sex meant more than, well, just sex
but as you can probably guess, there was no happy ending and it wasn’t long before I lost control and crashed into a million pieces, breaking bits of me that I had only just started to mend.
I felt cheap, used and tacky but I suppose the good thing was I no longer had any respect for the man I had loved for two years, the man I was set to marry, the man I thought would never use me (and to think he is a minister!)
Bottom Line: Meaningless fun is bad for you – it strips you of your self-worth and dignity. If you want to have fun, hold off for the guy who wants to show you off to the whole wide world. Hold off for the man who doesn’t want to share you or share himself.
Do you want to be treated with respect?
Well what you waiting for, start respecting yourself!
It’s that simple, once you begin respecting yourself as a person worth loving and cherishing, people around you will do the same.
PS. Know that the guy/gal who is using you for some “hotline bling” is not respecting you.
Sex is just sex sometimes – learn to distinguish what’s worth your intimacy and what’s not and save all the unnecessary heartache.
Rules of Thumb:
- If they aren’t bringing you to family functions and introducing you to the people in their world, you will never exist in their world, full stop
- Ex or not – the relationship ended for a reason and unless he/she is begging you every day for a second chance to make things right, there are no intentions of ever making you more than just S-EX.
- As soon as you know you are with the wrong person, finish it. Cut the crap and be honest. If you want something meaningless use your hands or, have a random (and protected) one-night stand.
- If you are the mistress of a toxic relationship, you are entering something that has already began toxic. Don’t you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you only? There’s no need for lies and deceit unless, he’s just not into you.