Hello, my name is Excuse Freak!

I have been in two exceptionally, horrifying relationships in my life, unfortunately during consecutive years with the first one beginning one month short of my 18th birthday.

JB (Johnny Bravo, as I’ve previously mentioned), the narcissistic sociopath was the first, followed by my “mentor” and boss, A.K.A The Compulsive Liar and Professional Martyr. Both of which took up approximately, 4 years of my young, adult life.

Let it be known right here, right now, Excuse Freak: it is NOT ok to compromise your own happiness or that of another, for fear of making someone else (no matter how important they make you think they are), unhappy.

In those 4 agonising and emotional years of torment, I continued to put others first and me last for two main reasons:

  1. Case One – I let him make me believe I could never do any better. I felt I had punched above my weight (probably more to do with the daily digs he would make to knock my confidence… a story for a different day).

  2. Case Two – I was vulnerable and lost and he was a professional man who seemed to know it all. My vulnerability hungered for something to cling to after losing what I thought had been the “love of my life” and that granted him the power to manipulate and blackmail me for the next two years.

Without even realising however, I had let both of these men break me down piece by piece and have me believe that loving someone was being unhappy all the time and defying my intuition. I fought endlessly with my own heart and mind, making excuse after pathetic excuse, for two men who, bottom line, did not make me happy.

Ring any alarm bells?

I’ve heard numerous stories from other ladies (and gents) who have also dipped their toes into what society would call domestic abuse – some of them have moved on, others however (maybe you?), are still tangled in the web of excuses….Hey! I’m talking to YOU:

Every single thing in this world has the right to live happy in whatever situation they are in. It is entirely up to each of us to take control of our lives and walk ourselves out of relationships that are making us feel unhappy, sad, lost, crazy – You just need to get in those boots and start walking Nancy!

You may scream from the rooftops the reasons why you can’t but I’m going to stop you right there. Been there, done that and…well, you know the rest.

YOU ARE WRONG

Get over yourself, the only thing you are going to lose is your life if you continue to kid yourself that you are better off living the same miserable way.

Don’t let time pass you by, before you know it, time will have been and went!

Be mentally aware of the following excuses:

He needs me
I love him
He loves me
I need him
I depend on him
He depends on me
He said he will change
I can change to make him happy
He will tell my mum if I don’t
People will find out
What if I realise I’ve made a mistake
He said he’ll kill himself
He said he will kill me
He said he will harm my parents

Note: if you or your family are being threatened, not only do you HAVE to walk away, you must go to the police. No amount of staying in that environment is going to protect you from harm as these things only escalate. 

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